Diversity is about all of us and about us having to figure out how to walk through this world together !

 

On the eve of International Day of Persons with Disabilities (IDPwD), I renew my vow to keep at it. Keep advocating for an ‘inclusive’ world for all. Not only because it’s the right thing to do, and everyone deserves a chance to live independently with dignity. But also, because including 15 per cent of the global population will change the majority’s perspective towards life and situations.

The conversations on disability in the media focused on romanticized tales of role models, generating sympathy from the audience or worse, making them feel thankful for their able-bodied existence vis-à-vis someone who was paying off his or her karmic debt.

If you are wondering ‘how so’, believe you me, that’s been my biggest life lesson. Disability is a condition that a person is either born with or acquires later in life. It’s a condition that results in limiting the person in some ways. The limitations, however, are a result of barriers in the physical (and virtual) environment as well as behavioral blockades.

Very often we see that some of them who break the barriers and come out to voice their concerns are treated as “people who inspire” but actually they don’t need our sympathies rather we need to understand them and act with empathy. We all need a family; we all need this society to accept us as we are. 

 Learning to respect the differences stems from concentrating on the potential of people without fixating on what doesn’t ‘seem’ possible to us. For this to happen, ‘accessibility’ has to become a priority. Once persons with disabilities start participating and interacting with the mainstream, the walls in our heads will slowly start coming down.

Before you write me off as pedantic, here are some examples which reiterate the gaps in inclusion and speak of our (read society/government/corporate/policy-makers/media) indifference towards the disabled community.

 1. Its 2021. And the Rights of Persons with Disabilities Act 2016 recognizes 21 types of disabilities. But our accessibility definition starts and ends with a wheelchair. So much so, that we force blind, deaf or speech impaired people into a wheelchair despite their ability to use their legs!

2. Even wheelchair access is not implemented fully on the ground. Many places don’t have wheelchairs. If you bring one of your own, good luck pushing it through the narrow doors of rooms, toilets, shops, restaurants etc. And then there’s the ramp. You are sure to exercise your forearms pushing the wheelchair up and down the inconsistent and steep inclines.

3. Where are the statistics on the disabled population? Forget gender, children, state or disability specific data, the latest count we have is from Census 2011 which is far from accurate. If we don’t know how many need access to services and spaces and in which geographies, what is the likelihood of catering to their needs?

4. The United Nations theme for IDPD 2021 is “Leadership and participation of persons with disabilities toward an inclusive, accessible and sustainable post-Covid-19 world.” After the pandemic, a majority of our social and professional activities have moved online. But digital platforms including websites and mobile applications are not fully accessible to persons with disabilities. December 31stis the deadline for filing income tax returns and the government’s official portal is ridden with virtual barriers. Digital wallets, the new norm of post-demonetization and socially distanced world, remain inaccessible.

5. The UN Sustainable Development Goal 11 is to make cities inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable. Yet we are building parks, cinema halls, shopping plazas and holiday resorts discarding the principles of universal design.

 Although some media reports and surveys might suggest that we don’t score too badly on the global index, is India really a disabled-friendly country? Can the media step away from tokenism on December 3 and really ask some tough questions on whether our country adheres to the ‘Leave No One Behind’ philosophy?

It does not cost much but rather pays well to provide proper accessibility in regular places like places of worship, parks, public utility like ATM, banks, government buildings and why even our homes. Just considering providing a ramp or a bridge instead of a step or two we can make everyone welcome. While designing a bathroom we spend so much on the fittings, but we often forget that a side wall hand grab rail can be so much more comfortable for a senior at home. 

People with physical disability are not those who have come from Mars, even a pair of spectacle or a walking stick are disability aids. So let’s celebrate them who use a wheelchair or need our hands to maneuver through a crowd. They too have emotions, a mind of their own and more than anything can become a major participant in our society. It is us the so called able bodied people who need to understand that we are not alone in this society, everyone has their place and we should provide for all. 

All we need to do is provide a hand of support , the tree will find it's own way to grow... so to say 

...life finds a way 

MY WORTH !

We always hear stories from motivational speakers about our worth, many give examples like :

A bottle of water at departmental store is 25rs.

The same bottle in the supermarket is worth about 50rs.

In a good restaurant or hotel it can be worth up to 150rs.

At an airport or on the plane, you may be charged 185rs.

The bottle and the brand is the same, the only thing that changes is the place. Each place gives a different value to the same product. When you feel like you are worth nothing and everyone around you belittles you, change places, do not stay there. Have the courage to change places and go to a place where you are given the value you deserve. Surround yourself with people who really appreciate your worth.

The concept of seeking is something very unethical. A person can only be thyself where ever positioned. the surroundings and the value of a person is determined by the person who is using him, be it an employer, a friend, as a consultant or as a volunteer. 

Just imagine, every time the bottle is seen in a new place, those that use it for making profit have created a value for it. The water bottle remains the same at all places, with the same unique quality and purpose and its own worth. By constantly increasing your own worth you can get an upgrade on your value. Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don't need the approval of others. 

Hence, changing a place for creating value or surrounding people who increase your worth is basically for the Good of people who USE YOU and nothing changes ABOUT YOU.

A diamond in a trash is still a diamond.. !

 

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own !

More and more people are now educated and so is the case of their unemployment. So what do they do of their learning?  

BECOME CREATIVE !

1. They make their own flower bouquets
2. They make their own cakes 
3. They make their own greetings Cards
4. They make their own Barbie dresses- you know what I mean !

BECOME ENTREPRENEUR !

1. They conduct their classes to teach others 
2. They take orders as home business people 
3. They get awards and recognitions in the social media for doing so
4. They create business by referrals

FINALLY THEY BECOME LAZY!

NOW Everything is sort from the internet - ONLINE 

The poor poet who wrote the verses for the Greetings, the baker who used to be a famous guy, the store which once used to be a family favorite, the hotel that used to once host people regularly are all out of business. 

My conundrum is as everything has a cycle will the time come back to where it started initially?

There is no sexuality that is greater or lesser than another!

With due respect to high emotional temper about sexual life in the disability community I believe there are multiple issues here. Finding a partner can be difficult for anyone, but for disabled people, there are extra barriers in place. Many believe the biggest barriers stem from society’s often-skewed views of their capabilities and what it means to be disabled. The stereotype is one of loneliness; they don’t even have friends, except when an abled person takes them under their wing as a charity case. Many are shocked to learn that they have active social lives and romantic relationships, including sexual ones.

One of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to people with disabilities is that they do not have feelings or emotions, or they do not understand the true meaning of love or want a significant other when truthfully, they all have the same desires as everyone else.

For a person who gets affected after having a normal life it is easy for the spouse to continue the relationship as the love has developed. I have a niece who is now 27years of age, A nephew who is 29 years both affected physically from birth, having very normal social life and also well placed professionally, yet they are not finding love or sex life as would their biology demand. Getting a partner for a price is not a healthy idea, both feel. As that will be a care giver only and not a partner in life. Hence, when I see frustration and vocal expression of thoughts, my heart sinks, not with sympathy but with helplessness of our social standards. A human has to be judged, loved and partnered based on intellect and social behavior. However, in love as they say, we all also get attracted first by physical beauty.

Just for ideas  here are some great positions : 

I would like to profess the idea of professional sex workers to come in and form groups to serve the community. Marriage or a relationship is not the only idea, where commitment becomes a deterrent.

Get handicapped in love so your body forgets all strengths of movement and succumbs to the flow of sexual emotions that rules from the bliss that comes to fore. 

MY ODE WITH BLINDNESS

 

Mostly all have a phobia for something in life. For me it has been one that was a part of my upbringing. I have always been frightened by the sight of a cockroach. The mere mention of the name of one will run tremors and give me goose bumps. There are so many incidents in my life that I now think about and laugh about it. One was just after my wedding, when I ran out of my bedroom in the middle of the night while a big one flew just over my cot and positioned on the wall  while  the night table lamp lit it like a spot light on a show stopper finishing the ramp walk.

Last night, following a monthly routine I mixed the pesticide and poured it on all the sink holes in every bathroom in the house and also the periphery of our bungalow, and in a casual manner sat down to watch my favorite comedy on TV. Not realizing that I have not washed my hands I started rubbing my eyes..   and what followed was a 30 minute trauma and stress for everyone in the house. My daughters frantically called a few doctors I am friends with, but it was late night for most of them. They started looking at Google support.

My pain and burning increased and I could not open my eyes. I pulled myself into the bathroom, and frantically started whipping water into my eyes. Finally after five minutes or so, I positioned myself with difficulty, as I could not open my eyes yet, by placing my head looking upwards and asked my wife to let the water flow on my face. The continuous flow of water into the eyes for the next ten minutes did the wonder.  After 15-20 minutes of water treatment I was able to open my eyes and see with a blur.

During my school days I have been a volunteer with the St. John’s Ambulance and also the Red Cross. Where I became a trained, First Aid Volunteer. What I learnt in my early teens helped me now at 50s.

I feel so blessed that I grew up In an environment where there were opportunity to learn and as a child I was enthusiastic about such programs.

 

FIRST AID is something everyone should learn at any age. It not only helps to serve self but also to anyone in an emergency situation.

 

 

ONE YEAR AND STILL ITS ON- COVID 19 AND MY ECONOMY

 

Ambling through the aisles, watching the new ensembles of various brands wetting their showcases for a new season, that unfortunate day of March the 15th of 2020 when it was announced that we have to close down for the fear of spreading Corona, I was enthused and overjoyed that there will be a small holiday in my life.  Hardly did I know that this will be a complete transformation in the way I have lived.

The initial few months were a total devotion to social media, volunteering inside the town with special permissions to move around during the pandemic, helping friends and f-of-f in getting e-passes, food packets, medicines, essentials, and even some comforting talks to those who required them. And above all my own encounters with music, ha ! ha !

Slowly, the days were now months and today it is past a year, my business has not picked up despite a change of location. Happenings around me have created worrisome predicaments and the milestones now stand changed with very little capacity to look ahead. I have not just become jobless, but now a debtor with none of my expenses on the business front stopping leave alone those made for a living. A person who loses a job loses the income, but a retailer like me not only loses the income but also has to incur the established basic expenses from reserves so also loses reserves. 

With money flowing in the system due to the schemes rolled out for the industry ,and the politics of appeasement doing its five yearly rotation, many like me who own small outlets in the retail field have lost it all to online shopping and thrifty purchasing by those who have it all.

It is pathetic to see beautifully decorated high street stores who used to once be busy with hustle and buzzle of discerning customers now idle, planning to cut down salaries and even reduce staff strength, some finding it difficult to even close counters.

There is always a time that comes as a heal
There’s always a wind which spreads good feel
There’s always a season that blooms beautiful flowers
There’s always the energy which empowers all endeavors

The economy is after all driven by people. No matter how dire the situation may be, as long as people are firm, a turnaround, revival and progress can be possible.

Internet is Proof, Evolution can go Reverse.

 

The Uniqueness of the Sun Temple at Konark lies in the fact that it was built using the concept of magnets. The peak of the temple was said to be a giant 52 ton magnet. A massive magnet was placed at the temple top and each two stones of the temple are inserting by iron plates. The statue of the Sun inside the temple was said to be floating free in air based on the unique arrangements of the main magnet and the reinforced magnets around the temple walls. Between every two stone pieces in the temple there lies an iron plate.

The magnets which disturbed the incoming East India Ships to Diamond Harbor were removed and destroyed and thus was the temple however many stories survive about its legend.

Thanks to the complementary honeymoon week package to Sterling Resort post wedding, I was fascinated on my visit by the lovely sexual depictions in the periphery walls of the massive chariot, KONARK. Though all temples have a construction based on the VIMAN Shastra (will talk about this sometime later) this is a unique construction as a chariot of the SUN god.

I always wondered why were the erotic sculptures a part of the temple complex and not a separate identity for more intrinsic learning. But then these were the temples of learning.

As I grew up and studied more about the temple I found that the way to the sanctum was dotted by many stages of learning and giving up. One needs to attain high levels of knowledge with peace and consciousness while moving towards the sanctum sanctorum leaving the periphery to the normal biological behaviors.

If we were only to satisfy our biological needs like eating, mating and excreting then we are just animals like a cow or a dog. But if we have evolved we have to move towards enlightenment. (Wow)

So here is a rider: if the net on our phone shows more of porn, that means we are actually reversing the evolution and going back to becoming the animal we were.